It was such an honour to be the keynote speaker at a fundraising event Let’s Celebrate Mother’s on Saturday March 5, 2016. I shared about my experiences as a trans racial adoptee and the impact it’s had on me being a biological and non-biological mother. Visit http://bit.ly/2cCmfeP to watch the speech.
Here’s an excerpt from the speech:
I don’t remember seeing the face of my first mother; my birth mother, I was left on the roadside in a little ditch in Cap Haitien, Haiti. I was left with NOTHING no note, no keepsake and NO identification. I have always had this burning desire to know who my birth family particularly my birth mother is and where my life began. I have so many unanswered questions. The loss of my first mother, my first bond was so deep and I felt it so thoroughly.
I was blessed to gain new parents; who adopted me at just under 4months old. In my new family I received love and discipline, direction, faith and just like in any family there were trials and tribulations but there is so much that I have and continue to receive from my mother and my family.
Having these two experiences of mother hood has given me a lot of perspective on what it is to be a mother. I have found motherhood to be joyful and painful it creates a new thought processes and a completely new perspective on life.
I have blessed with my 3 girls; Handerline 15, Afrykah-Amaya 5 and Naahlah-Jwa 1.5. Handerline is not my biological daughter while the younger girls are but I am mother to all of them and I’m so thankful to each of them, they’ve shown me that I can have a wonderful attachment with each of them.
I asked my girls what they each liked most about having a Mom they each gave me these wonderful little nuggets of love.
Naahlah-Jwa looked at me and said Mama, Mama about 5 times, which melts my heart. I had to wait until she was about 7 months old to hear that and now it’s truly delightful. It’s her claim of ME as her MAMA that touches me so deeply.
Afrykah-Amaya said she loves that I take care of her and her favourite thing to do with me was her hair. If you know anything about my hair journey that was incredible to hear how my daughter cherishes that bonding time together
Handerline said having a Mom is someone who loves you and takes care of you and does stuff for you and it doesn’t have to be your birth mother. That moved me.
That was my validation, my three beautiful girls acknowledging me as their Mama. Am I a perfect mother? No but I’m bonded, attached, invested and a present mother!